How I Mentally Prepared for My Biggest Keynote Ever (And What It Taught Me About Leadership)

I'm recording this episode—and now writing this post—from a spot I've never recorded before: under my covers, in bed.

This post is based on a recent episode of the Nursing the System podcast, where I shared the full behind-the-scenes story. If you prefer to listen, you can check it out  here!

I had just finished my nighttime routine, was winding down for the night, and suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to get my thoughts out. I’m about a week away from delivering the biggest keynote of my career: closing a national Nurse Practitioner conference with over 2,000 people in the audience.

As I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, the jitters started creeping in. It wasn't full-blown panic, but more like a buzzing in my chest—familiar, persistent, and quietly demanding attention. And I realized: I needed to talk myself through it before my brain made it bigger than it needed to be.

This is a behind-the-scenes look at how I mentally and emotionally prepared for that keynote—what worked, what surprised me, and what I realized about leadership on the other side.

Mindset Strategy #1: Downplay the Drama

Growing up, I sang in church and school choirs, and later trained in solo vocal performance. Singing—especially alone—is one of the most vulnerable things you can do. And the trick that got me through all those nerve-wracking performances?

Convince myself it wasn’t a big deal.

Back then, I'd tell myself: "Everyone here has already heard me sing. If they think I'm bad, they already think it. Nothing hinges on this performance."

Before this keynote, I found myself leaning on the same strategy. I kept repeating to myself:

• "I know this material like the back of my hand."

• "These attendees will hear dozens of talks. If mine is great, wonderful. If not? They'll forget."

• "This doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to connect."

  
  

It’s not that I didn’t care. I cared deeply. But I knew if I let the nerves take over—if I let my body believe this moment was make-or-break—I'd lose the ability to show up the way I wanted to.

Downplaying the stakes gave my nervous system breathing room. It gave me the chance to show up grounded, not gripped by fear.

Mindset Strategy #2: Shrink the Room

2,000 people can feel like an overwhelming sea of faces—unless you intentionally humanize them.

Before the keynote, I made it a point to meet people. Standing in line for the bathroom, grabbing coffee, chatting with the tech team—I let myself be friendly and open.

Later, when I stood on stage, I could see Becca from Kansas City, Mary from Sacramento, and Rick the sound guy—not an anonymous crowd, but real humans I had connected with.

My dad, who's spent decades speaking to large audiences, gave me another tip: pick 10 people in the front few rows to "read" emotionally.

Focus on their smiles, their nods, their energy. Let them be your anchor.

It worked. It simulated the feeling of a small workshop, even inside a cavernous ballroom filled with thousands of chairs.

Prep Strategy: Stay Close to the Material

Another deliberate choice I made?

I didn't finalize my slides months ahead of time. I waited until about a week before.

Because I don't script. I teach using diagrams and visual frameworks—concepts I live and breathe every day. If I had built the deck too early, it would have felt disconnected and stale by the time I stepped on stage.

Finalizing closer to the event kept the material alive in my brain—fresh, dynamic, and ready for real-time connection with the audience.

(If you're someone who thrives on early preparation, that's great! Knowing your own working style is the real key.)

The Night Before: Facing the Fear

Honestly, I was doing okay.

Until I walked into the Grand Ballroom for tech check.

The room was massive—three times wider than I had pictured. It wasn’t deep like a theater; it was sprawling. I had to physically turn my body to see from one end to the other.

Suddenly, all my "downplaying" tactics cracked. A flood of adrenaline hit me. My heart raced. I felt completely overwhelmed.

I went back up to my hotel room, looked in the mirror, and cried for 30 seconds. I needed to let the emotion move through me.

Not because I wasn't ready. Not because I doubted myself.

Because I realized: no matter how it went, I was crossing a threshold. I was about to become someone who had given a keynote to thousands.

I opened the Voxer app and sent a voice note to my Changemaker Essentials students—the new cohort I had just launched. I told them the truth: I was nervous. I'd cried. And I was still going to show up.

Vulnerability isn't a liability. It's leadership.

The Morning Of: Starting With a Story

That night, my dad called.

He asked, "What's the first thing you're going to say on stage?"

Half-asleep, I muttered something about how big the room was.

He said, "No. Don't start with a disclaimer. Start with a story."

So I did.

I told a story about checking my suitcase at Schiphol Airport, wondering if I'd ever see it again, and how systems—not magic—make complex things work.

It made people laugh. It grounded me. It signaled to the audience—and to myself—that I belonged there.

After that first minute? The nerves disappeared.

The rest of the talk flowed from a place of connection, not fear.

After the Keynote: Owning the Growth

When I walked off that stage, something inside me had shifted.

Not because I "crushed it." Not because the feedback was kind (though it was).

Because I had led myself through a moment that felt enormous—without shutting down, without pretending, without abandoning the reality of what I was experiencing.

That’s leadership.

It's not the absence of nerves. It's not flawless execution.

It’s the willingness to feel it all, move through it, and still choose to show up.

If You're Facing Your Own Ballroom Moment

You can be nervous and ready.

You can be emotional and credible.

You can prepare meticulously and still cry in the bathroom.

None of it disqualifies you from leadership. In fact, it's proof you're stepping into it.

If this resonated with you, Nursing the System is where I break down the messy, emotional, strategic side of nurse leadership and systems change. Come hang out. New episodes drop every Monday.

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